Silencing the ego, minds driver, creator of desires and generator of emotions! By the Mind Model
- in eternal aum consciousness
- Oct 22, 2023
- 8 min read
Updated: Apr 22, 2024
An interesting question
After our group aum chanting, on the way back, my friend "D" asked me, about my views on:
"D": How does one make a person realise that his ego is causing issues to people around him, and he has to change? Isn't he doing wrong, by doing things to hurt peoples self respect? What have people done, to deserve to be treated like this by him?
The question has ego or the role of the person, desires of being accepted and emotions of sadness in it. Here the ego, desire and emotions are at play. It is perfectly natural for someone to feel like this.
Possible answers
D like everyone has found many answers from different sources to satisfy this question. There are many viewpoints on this. Most of them attempt to answer this from the domain of the mind.
Example.
Know the difference between ego and self respect. Apply it.
Do chanting of xyz mantra and you will change. It will take time, but it will happen
Do a mental phone call with subconscious mind technique to change the person.
Make him realise his mistake by giving it back to him.
Only unconditional love can change a person.
Energy healing can do this. Connect with an energy healer.
And so on. There are many of them. Many rules and many principles. The point to note is however that you are doing all this. Not the person himself! I have myself experienced more than one of the above techniques work.
To have a fundamental change within, the person has to change from within. In divine presence of the enlightened, this happens automatically, but to be in the presence, needs grace! It's a paradox!
The answer i gave was a short one, which i have elaborated here further. This may help you to get your answers, as you wade in the ocean of the turbulent mind.
Problem with insights is that they are in the mind domain!
These insights are in the mind domain. It is very difficult to keep track of all the principles and rules. Mind being inherently unstable, requires a great deal of awareness and control to be on a balanced state at all times.
Disillusionment lead me to explore beyond the mind.
I remember being in this state of questioning, intrigued by the mind, it's working, why emotions form, why people behave the way there do. And so on. The trigger was a deep disillusionment with "friends" who threatened to send me a legal notice! It is usually in jhatka, a jolt, a shock, that makes you ask these fundamental questions of life. Most of the people either forget or cope and move on with life with rewind and replay. And life goes on. A few crazy ones like me seek answers .... And be persistent to see it.
As i learnt more about the mind, is parts, subconscious mind, i merged the teachings to create a model of how the mind works and how emotions are formed.
I will share what i have interpreted so far in this journey and despite the fact that it may not be sufficient, i have the necessary insight that helped me move beyond the domain of the mind.
Observing the mind
To know the mind, you have to out of the mind and observe it. Here the western methods have their limitations. The answer is given in yoga and subconscious mind teachings.
I have not studied any Western psychology or nor am I need l certified yoga teacher. What i am sharing here is my own learning.
The quick fixes people take
Very few people will try to understand the ways of the mind. The whys and how's. Most don't pay attention or are looking at quick fixes. Someone to talk to, someone to discuss, have a drink, go on a vacation etc. someone to vent it out with. These are temporary fixes.
Let's see a flowchart of the working of the mind. The right side denotes the one who is a relaized soul. The left side represents everyone else.
Though this flow chart may seem complicated, it is actually a logical sequence to follow. This is inspired from an yoga article i read some time back... So instead of text, i decided to make a flowchart to see the patterns. As i started, it evolved over a period of time. And here it is... Now!
Understanding how the mind works is the first step to observing it and then making it silent.
There is a model of the mind, where the 16 parts as per yoga are described and how memories are formed. I am not giving it here, as the focus of this blog is ego, desires and emotions. That will be covered in another blog.
Mastery over emotions
The mind follows a particular model or working to form emotions. Emotions can not be observed and controlled, unless you know that the root cause of emotions is desires and they originate from roles you have in life.
How are emotions formed
To keep it simple. Roles give rise to desires of being doing and having. Desires are wants and aversions. Fulfilled or unfulfilled desires, genarate emotions. That is the whole game!
Benefit:
When you understand how emotions are formed, you will be better able to understand the underlying process and then observing the emotion in the mind and taking action with a stable mind and not driven by emotions. You can easily trace back the emotion to the desire and then to the role. Once you are clear, that you are not a role, it is your role, the emotions have no power over you.
When Knowledge of the self is not clear. (vigyanamaya kosha is not clear)
When one is attached, it is the moha or maya (illusion) and it creates a false identification of self with the roles you play in life. (Roles could be father, brother, son, uncle, boss, staff, citizen and so on. So many roles).
Ego or (False) Identity is more than 1 instead of being 1:
When the self knowledge is not clear, one takes the left path to the first decision box and lands at the false assumption of
"I am my multiple roles. These are my identities". There is no distinction here.
This is a typical state, where one role is being compromised by the other. Example if you work too much, your personal life is compromised. And so on. There is a factor of guilt associated with this state, of not being able to do justice, as the fundamental clarity is missing.
Mada is High, instead of being Nil:
Each Identity has a desire, of being, doing and having to seek pleasure. It also has desire of avoiding pain. These are attachements to pleasures of the mind and aversions to pain sensed by the mind. It is not wrong to have desires, However, not realizing that desires are related to attachment to roles and not the self is where the game starts.
Kama is High instead of being Nil.
Multiple desires manifest as goals in physical, emotional, social, financial, spiritual, intellectual goals. Here the "Kama" or attachment is manifested.
Emotion of Anger: Krodha
If the desires are not fulfilled, there is anger or krodha is manifested.
Emotion of Matsara: Jealousy The question "Do others have what I dont have?" takes one to jealousy.
Emotion of Bhaya: Fear
When no action is taken, inspite of knowing that action will produce a result that will satisfy the desire, it is usually due to bhaya or fear. The fear can be anything. it could be looking good, it could be fear of failure etc. Fear is designed in us as a survival mechanism. But, it manifests also as imaginary fear. No wonder it is called, false evidence appearing real. (FEAR)
Emotion of Guilt: Lajja If the action is seen as immoral, unethical or not right, all of which are largely contextual and subjective, then the emotion of gulit arises within.
Emotion of greed: Lobha
As the result comes, automatically the desire to have more, better, faster, larger, smaller, lighter, heavier, bigger, etc. come in, meaning, the greed has set in. There is nothing wrong in seeking improvement or something better. that is how progress happens. But it has to be Conscious. Not automatic, flowing in emotions.
Emotion of Sadness: Dukkha
After a few failures, the mind is hurt, when results dont happen as per expectation.
Emotion of Exhaustion: Thakaan
Even after more failures, one feels tired and hopeless. Usually there is a need to take a break in such cases.
Emotion of depression:
When it appears that there are constant failures and no way ahead, the mind stops considering possibilities and actions and enters into a depression mode.
Exercise
Recall a strong negative emotion you have felt. it could be something that you did not do or did not get.
find out what was the desire that lead to this emotion and where in the flowchart you see it originate and end.
Now find out what role caused the desire. Now you realize that you are not the role, hence the desire and hence the emotion are not linked to your "self". you are always blissful.
Read the topic on the self to get more clarity on this topic.
Link emotions you feel during the day to desires and then link these desires to roles you have in life. A simple 4 column table will do. Mark the intensity of the emotion too in the left most column. This will bring lot of awareness that all emotions in your life are linked to the roles in your life. This is they key insight. Dont bother about emotions and desires of others. Focus on your self.
When the self identity is clear: There is no ego. One sees I am consciousness. I have many roles. I am just a medium. therefore there is no mada. Each role has a “Dharma”. Which is doing what is right and that is done. Hence no Kama or attachement. I create a mission for each role without any attachment to the goal / results
I accept all the results, while acting in awareness, while being in abundance.
Hence Greed, Anger, Jealousy = 0 Love, Joy and Peace = Infinite
The insight
My way is to make the mind irrelevant by being aware that roles are not me. I am eternal shivoham.
I don't worry about what people think about me, who is right and who is wrong etc. As it keeps changing with time. I just do my role, my dharma, knowing fully well that it's a role. It's not me.
In doing this, i be in abundance, do with awareness and have with acceptance. There are no expectations, though there are goals, action and eternal aum within.
Anything that changes is not me. I am chidananda Rupa shivoham shivoham. I have many roles. I act, but i remain an observer. I am eternal. As eternal as the aum sound I hear at all times.
This is only possible when you are not your mind. There are times, when mind takes over. I get into the emotional roller coaster of attraction, jealousy, anger, sadness, etc. But the journey is short lived. And balance returns on its own, as soon as I am silence and connect to internal aum sound within.
This is the key. You can not solve mind issues with mind as a tool. You have to go beyond it. Go beyond the mind manomaya kosha into the vigyanamaya kosha to understand the self. This requires some contemplation and study, easiest being a study of nirvanashatakam. This composition starts with the shloka, that you are not your mind!
I listen to this almost every day, as i immerse myself into anhata naad.
Here is the link
You can always be in the aum state, by listening to the internal sound of aum.
Here is the link.
Blessing.
May you understand the emotional game and harness the power of emotions, rather than being controlled by them. May you always be in the eternal om state.
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