Gratitude and Forgiving

As I spend time with my father, in a hospital in nagpur, who is recovering from a cardiac arrest be had couple of days ago, I got to spent time in absolute silence...I inquired...I read...I understood a little as follows.

Gratitude and forgiving are my pillars. While gratitude was always easier to do, I had challenges with forgiving for a long time.

There are three aspects to forgiving.

1. Forgiving others

2. Forgiving myself.

3. Others Forgiving me.

Let's see the process that leads to the need to forgive.

1. Someone has thoughts, says words or takes actions.

2. I get or feel hurt.

3. I recall and I forgive.

4. Repeat step 1. Loop continues.

I struggle to forgive, as I keep getting hurt! This is never ending.

Is the solution not remembering? Forgetting? May be? But that does not seem to be the answer. Memories are powerful, they must be retained. Either good, or bad...But as a memory. That's all. Without the unnecessary baggage.

Lets explore the next step. To get hurt is a choice I have. To accept, is also a choice. I chose to accept people as they are. Then they don't have the power to hurt me. As there is no hurt, I have no reason to forgive! They are doing or saying or thinking, what they are supposed to as per their karma...I have no problems with that. Let them be.

So I don't forget. I accept. This is the state to be in. This is eliminating the root cause itself!

Extending this, The next state is to not just accept, as mechanical acceptance can also lead to ignorance or contempt...But also to love everyone for any action, thought or word originating from them. This is what all the enlightened souls have done, irrespective of language, region or faith.

Does acceptance also mean tolerance of any damage... whatever be the consequence of the actions, thoughts or words of others? Does it mean inaction? Does it mean, i do nothing, even when gross danger, losses, insults are happening?

In the Supreme blissful state, it is...love for all, and only acts of kindness for everyoNe, Nothing elSe is the natural state....but I am yet to reach there...then what?

For now as I am on the path, the response, as appropriate to the situation, to the best of my ability...in the order of "saam daam danda bheda" so that my life mission and its purpose are on track. Appears to be the right way ahead. The same situation can be dealt with with different means at different times, as long actions, thoughts and words are aligned to mission and purpose. There are no preconceived notions, giving me unprecedented freedom to be.

One important point here is the taking no action is also an action. Most of the others thoughts, words, actions, demand no action, as they have no relation to mission, purpose or my well-being. But when action must be taken, it must be. Dispassionately.

Now, regarding others forgiving me...if they do or not, with their actions, thoughts or words, as I have accepted them as they are, it is already covered!

To summarize.

1. Accept without prejudice. There is no need to forgive others. This also covers, other forgiving me.

2. Act dispassionately as the situation demands. There is no need to forgive myself as my thoughts, words and actions are Aligned to my life mission and purpose, not driven by any other bias.

Have a wonderful year ahead buddies! Let's rock 2020!